Dating after a psychopath
Most of my posts have been about how to identify psychopathic traits and patterns of behavior and about understanding what drew the psychopath to you–and you to him–originally.
I have also written several posts emphasizing the importance of no contact of any kind, passive or active, in being able to recover from the toxic relationship.
Focus on the relationships with people in your life who genuinely care about you and support you. Find renewed energy in your job or in life goals, even those you might have given up on during the toxic relationship.
Coming to terms with the truth about the psychopath and your relationship with him is essential to being able to let go of that person and your past together.
One day, he is caring and loving and wonderful, and the next he is hateful and raging and mean. You are afraid to talk, or when you do talk you feel like you are never heard, your words are taken out of context, misunderstood, or blatantly ignored. In the beginning of a relationship they might seem like everything you ever wanted….usually this is because they are trying to act like everything you ever wanted. You have no support group and therefore your partner gains more power. He or she might be mean to people they think are “below them” or people who are defenseless, like babies or children.
Like flipping a switch, he can change drastically from one extreme to the next. He or she acts one way when they are around you, but completely different around your parents, and completely different around their friends. Slowly, you lose your friends until you feel like your partner is the only person you have left. Your partner cycles from mean and vicious to sweet and loving, then back again. He might set traps for squirrels or rabbits and then torture them.
The partners of individuals with psychopathy, narcissistic personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and antisocial personality disorder are often left with emotional and physical scars.
For many of us, it can be difficult to determine if our partner is healthy or if their behavior patterns are indicative of a problem.
Each time he hurts you, he apologizes and promises that it will never happen again or that he will change. Your partner knows your weaknesses and he goes after your most vulnerable parts, hurting you where he knows it will do the most damage. You feel ashamed, lost, alone, confused, numb, afraid, crazy, stupid, ugly, fat, worthless, embarrassed, unloveable, wrong. Your partner tortures animals, is mean to children, or nasty to waitresses."I am superior to you." Individuals with psychopathy often convey to their mate that they are superior and their partner is not good enough. Some will introduce their partner to a roller-coaster style relationship (break up, and then reunite - repeat).(e.g., "You're stupid," too emotional," fat," insecure," always holding on to the past,"paranoid," crazy.") Within relationships of this type, their partners often feel inferior, worthless or 'less than.' Their mates are often kept off balance chasing after what they think will appease the disordered partner. For many involved with a psychopath, the disrespect immediately shifts into abuse and creates a traumatic relationship for their victim.Toxic relationships disrupt life and can introduce infinite waves of abuse and pain.It is not uncommon for individuals who have never been involved in this type of romance to wonder if their partner has a disorder.
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We have put together a list of the top 20 signs you are dating a psychopath. If you are a peaceful person, you might find yourself constantly fighting. You feel like there is something seriously wrong with you. It seems like your partner is two completely different people.